Sassafrass.

You know how easy it would be for me to just use you like the tool you are and just walk away?

Don't even act like that's not what you're planning anyway.

But now that we both know we're playing the game, it's getting much more interesting.

Who's going to get there first?

Who's going to win?

And how will we tell who won when/if we get there?

But I don't want to stoop down to your pathetic little level.

I'm better than that.

I'm classy.

I'm smart.

I'm funny.

And I can do a hell of a lot better than you.

I think you know that.

I think that's why you're trying so hard to keep me hanging on.

Dude, you've been at this for, what, two years now?

I thiiiiink you either need to step up your game for reals or just call it quits.

And I kinda don't want you to step up your game for reals.

Yeah, you're awesome. And yeah, I love being your friend, but it's best if that's it.

I've finally made peace with being your best friend Jill, chillin' on the sidelines and telling you when to calm down and when to do your homework and when to do mine.

I'm good with that.

You should be, too.

(insert random picture)