Welp, here goes nothing.
1
Have you ever met somebody that you absolutely shouldn't date, but you would be perfect with if you did?
Yep. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
That, "I'm fire & you're gasoline, I'm no good for you, you're no good for me," one.
That perfect demon with dark brown eyes and amazing hugs.
Fact: I want him in my life forever, in a completely non-creepy stalker way. I never want to forget him. I never want to quit talking to him or quit hanging out with him because he is one of my closest best friends ever.
Ever ever.
Fact: He has no idea what he wants out of life, so I'm basically his constant. No matter what happens, whatever shit he gets himself into, I'm always on the sidelines with a smile, ready to clean it up.
Fact: He messes with me. Simple as that. Does it bother me anymore? No. Does it happen? Yep.
Fact: I don't want that anymore. Haven't for a while. We are just. Friends. Know that now.
I'm not kidding. Some people say that if you're that close of friends with a person of the opposite sex there has to be something going on. Negative, Hoss. I disagree greatly.
Fact: If things were to go there again, would I stop it? No, probably not. Whatever happens happens. Would I try to slow it down? Yes I would.
I was moving on.
I was getting my shit together.
And shit happens.
As shit tends to do.
2
I hate that I hate this.
This;
This is perfect.
I love this.
Carefree.
Fine.
I hate that I feel like it's not enough.
What's wrong with keeping it here?
You obviously think it's enough.
If only I thought that way.
If only I didn't want to barf after hanging out with you.
I don't mind being drug into this friendship, as long as that's really what it is.
I really really really just want to MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON.
I can.
I know I can.
I have.
But dude, we have got to tart talking about what's going on here.
We have got to talk.
I don't care what happens.
As long as we're clear.
If we're clear, we're good.
I'm good.
Maybe.
3
Lyrics of Space Bound by Eminem.
Look 'em up.
Learn 'em.
Love 'em.
They are truth.
Life.
Lyrics of 25 to Life by Eminem.
Look 'em up.
Recite them.
Study them.
Rehearse them like Shakespeare.
Because that's what he is to me.
Modern day Shakespeare.
Telling shit like how it flies.
Play by play as it hits the fan.
'Cause, baby, it does.
4
I'll be the Megara to your Hercules.
I'll be the Mulan to your Shag.
I've always liked those couples best.
The kick-ass girl, and the muscular, fiiiiiiine-ass guy.
Yup.
I wish I could be one of them.
Meg. Is. Gorgeous.
Gorgeous. Headstrong. Lovable. And best of all:
gets Hercules.
Win.
I wish I could be Mulan.
She's so real.
Smart. Down to earth. Badass. And best of all:
gets Captain Lee Shang.
Win. OMG win.
5
I love you but I can't.
I can't do this again.
But I want to so bad.
I know you're just yanking my chain,
but what if you're not?
What if I miss out on you again?
I wanna know what it would be like.
You know, being official with you.
Probably the same as it is now.
Except less awkward and more cute.
But I can't.
Nope. I can't do that to myself.
A huge quick buildup for months of let down.
Fml.
∙∙∙∙∙keep in mind, none of this is necessarily the truth. Words come out on paper. A lot of them I don't mean. They're just beautiful to me.
♥me
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