Surely.

I'm stressed out and I feel like I'm drowning in shit I have to do, so of course it's necessary for me to waste a good ten minutes ranting my brains out.

Enjoy.

Things I need to do:

• Iowa Degree
• Scholarships
• Recruit people for JOOI
• Get dues from people for JOOI
• Write my after dinner speech
• Research more for my lit program
• Really buckle down on improv
• Make up 21 delinquent cross courts (soon to be probably 37)
• Tell Dirkx not to mail a letter I told him to write yesterday (I'll get to that story)
• Memorize my solo for festival
• Do my physics
• Do my chemistry
• Actually read Frankenstein instead of bullshitting my way through evverrryyythhiiiiiinngg
• Turn in money for my speech shirt
• See if Galvin finished his bit for my NHS scholarship
• Get all over my parents' asses about getting FAFSA done so I can quit missing scholarship deadlines for that
• Clean the church
• Work ahead in comp
• Work ahead in math
• Work on my photography!

Seriously, I haven't TOUCHED my pictures since Christmas. I just now uploaded all the pictures I had on my camera since 12/31, which was 443, BY the way. What the french, I mean, last year, I couldn't go TWO WEEKS without going through picture withdrawal and doing SOMETHING. Where the fuck did that go? Now I have a brand new lens and I'm too busy all the time to use it, PLUS, omg this is the best part, picnik premium is now FREE and is going out of business in April, and I have edited NOTHING since I heard this. WTF IS THE MATTER WITH ME? If I'm really too busy to follow my passion, I have my priorities severely fucked up someplace. And it hurts when I see people have these opportunities with their photography that I never get. I want that. Not that I have time for that, but I want the offer. I want somebody to come up to me and say, "Hey, Chriss, we should go on a photo shoot next weekend. I think you'd do a good job." I want to get somewhere with this, and if I really want that, I should be way far ahead of where I am now.

I'm fucking drowning.

Homework, clubs, sport (singular. omg.), responsibilities, job, friends, and not to mention my boyfriend that I'd rather just watch Jackass with than do half of that other shit I'm supposed to do.

Not saying that I'm that girl that wants/does blow off everything else just to see her beau; I'm so not.

We both have lives, friends, family, responsibilities, and we both understand that.

It's just nice to hang out when you only get the chance to see each other once a week. That's a fact, and that you can't argue.

But anyway, that's the least of my worries right now, that's actually quite awesome. Scholarships are scaring the piss out of me.

I'm broke as a joke.

There's no way I can afford college.

I'm afraid that even after I get loans there's no way to pay for it, and then I'll have loans plus interest to pay off. And THEN my parents go and FORGET to put a scholarship in the mail, so now that one's out of the question. That pushed me over the edge. I freaked the fuck out. My dad told me to mail it anyway, like because I'm such a fuckin' damn saint that they'd ignore the tardiness and take it anyway. Yeah, bro, the whole world doesn't revolve around the fucking Dittmers anymore! You're not hot shit anymore! You haven't been since the '80s! WHICH, by the way, was the last time you bothered to upgrade any of your shit around here!

Wow, I should not get into that on the internet.

Anywhooooo, I need to:

• Delegate
• Make lists like a boss (so far so good)
• Manage my time like a bamf
• Shut the fuck up and get my shit done

Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.

Now I'm gonna go ham on some pictures I've been neglecting.

Why?

Because I'm clearly a dumbass.

The girl who likes to complain and worry and stress way too much,
ChrissyJoy♥